I felt special when potential romantic partners commented, “You’re not like other girls.”It was a compliment because it was better to have more “masculine” personality traits rather than “feminine” traits. When I became older, I realized how that statement is a backhanded compliment that is misogynistic and a contradiction.
The comment is misogynistic because it implies that the speaker has a disdain for femininity and generalizes women rather than sees them as individuals. When I was younger, I disliked the idea of “feminine” characteristics. A typical feminine trait would be females who wear makeup, loves shopping, and has a group mentality. I fought against that by not wearing makeup, rarely going shopping, and being a lone wolf for the most part. I thought I was special that I had these quirks. As I matured, I learned that wearing make up is one way people express themselves, going shopping is quite fun and that there are safety reasons why females go in groups instead of alone. If girls like these things, don’t admonish them for doing these things, its just what they like.
The comment is a contradiction because 12930428039457293847 girls have heard that compliment before. As much as it’s nice to hear that you’re special and you have a unique personality, your personality is unique to the person who said it. To others, you may have an ordinary character that they’ve experienced before. It’s not bad. Also, people often get attracted to those who are very similar.
Let Girls Be Girls
Let girls be girls. Don’t put them down because they have stereotypical female characteristics and don’t put them on a pedestal when they’re not. Both are individuals that deserve equal respect and recognition.
Photo Courtesy: Scarleth Maria via Flickr.