One thing I dislike when people give me advice is the “Righting Reflex.” The “righting reflex” is the urge to correct something or someone. Here are some examples of when people use the “Righting Reflex”:
- You make a mistake and your friend is like, “Why didn’t you prepare before?” My response is often, “Well, shit Sherlock, thanks for telling me now that its passed.”
- You vent your problems and your friend ends up telling you how to fix it. My thoughts are, ” I didn’t ask for your advice, I wanted you to listen.”
- The person assumes you’re wrong in your attempt to try something before you even try it. I think, “Why are correcting me? I haven’t tried it yet.”
Some people may be wondering, “I care for my loved one and I want my loved one to do well_(In what whatever they are doing. So how in the world can I help them without correcting them?) Well, here a few suggestions to guide rather than correct.
1. Rather than assume they don’t know anything, ask them what mistakes they made? Instead of you analyzing, its them.
2. Ask them what they can do to prevent the mistake next time. Again, its your loved one analyzing, not you.
3. Just listen. Don’t judge. Don’t correct. Don’t say anything at all. Sometimes, being a listening ear is all it takes.