I’m prone to obsessive dwelling and self-pity. I find it easier to feel sorry for myself rather than take responsibility or to find creative solutions to make my dilemma easier. Feeling sorry for oneself is non-productive and quite destructive. When I fall into self-pity, I feel paralyzed, anxious, and depressed, three states of mind that make me powerless. It’s not easy to combat self-pity (well in my case it’s not), but here are three ways, I’ve managed to dig myself out from wallowing.
- Step out your situation and focus on something else: I find that if I switch my focus to something else from the problem I’m dealing with, then I can distance myself and find creative answers. By intensely focusing on a problem rather than switching gears, I become nearsighted and feel that there are no solutions for my dilemma.
- Write down your problem and possible solutions: I’m a visual and kinesthetic learner so writing down my difficulties and potential solutions grounds me and decreases my anxiety. It helps me see what I can do to fix my problems.
- Take ownership: This is actually quite difficult for me because I’m prideful, but by looking at ways I contributed to the problem, it allows me to see the big picture and helps me realize I have more control than I originally thought.
For those who are leaders of obsessive dwelling, like me, there’s hope. It takes distance and realization that you are able to curb this bad habit.