Scared of Being 26
I’m scared of being twenty-six. Six years away from twenty and four years closer to thirty. Many of my friends are getting married, have full-time jobs, and have kids. Where am I on the adulthood scale? I idealize my friends without realizing there are problems associated with being married, having full-time jobs, and having kids. Do my friends with full-time adult responsibilities have insecurities? Insecurity if they married the right person? Insecurities over their parenting? Difficulties at their full-time jobs? I have fun not having those responsibilities, but I’m nervous that I’m missing out on something.
Being an Adultolescent is an opportunity to experiment, make mistakes, and learn from them.
Everyone has their own path to focus and grow on. I can’t compare my path to another person’s path. Being an Adultolescent is an opportunity to experiment, make mistakes, and learn from them. It’s what I appreciate having parental financial support and freedom to partake in it.
Maybe it’s an irrational fear. Maybe I’m scared of being seen as not “on track” or “immature.” People say, “Don’t care about what other people think,” which of course is good advice, but it’s a struggle when there are parental pressures to make $60,000 right after undergrad. (I’m not saying it’s not possible, but it’s rare in these economic times)
I end up having second guesses if I want to get married, have children, or be thrown into a full time job right now.
The funny thing is once I stop idealizing my friends’ lives, I end up having second guesses if I want to get married, have children, or be thrown into a full-time job right now. Take having children, I don’t know even know if I want to have my own because there are many children in foster care who need parents. Also, I’m scared that having children would derail my endless ambition and experiences that I want to have out of life. I want to travel the globe, meet different people, go on adventures, study for an MFA, and other things. Yes, it sounds selfish, but I know many millennials who think this way.
It’s uncomfortable to feel uncertainty. The dreams I had as a teenager are taking longer than I originally thought, and I’m getting impatient. Am I going to give up on eventually writing a novel or screenplay? Am I going to give up on traveling the world? Am I eventually going to be financially stable? Will I eventually be able to afford a place to live? These are heavy concerns that maim me. All I can say is twenty-six is a confusing age.
Photo: Bruce Krasting via Flickr. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/legalcode