My Fear of Being Adequate


Wanted to Be the Model Minority Myth

When I was younger, I wanted to attend an Ivy League– Yale to be specific.  I wanted to live up to the model minority myth, the type that overachieves, pleases her parents and is looked up to. I didn’t live up that dream, and I’m happy.

New Republic

There is an article that I read on the New Republic about how the Ivies conked out kids to be academic zombies with little intellectual curiosity, anxiety, and timidness. People who went to the Ivies and had the grand ole time of your life, this isn’t an against you. I’m happy that you received a wonderful education and had fun at the same time.

I Wanted

I wanted to be those kids who mastered seven to ten instruments, a polyglot or was the leader of every organization on the face of the planet. Unfortunately, I was none of those things. I had crippling anxiety, coupled with procrastination, and a lack of organization skills. I never applied to any of the Ivies because I knew my grades weren’t up to par, but I did attend a university that had a price tag on par with an Ivy. Woot! Woot! USF!

Why I Aimed for the Ivies

I aimed for the Ivies because my biggest fear at the time was just being adequate, and I didn’t want to be “adequate.” I wanted to be the overachiever that my parents bragged to relatives. I didn’t become that person, but I believe I became someone better. Someone who likes to read because she likes to read, research subjects for the sake of curiosity, and talks to others for the sake of talking rather than networking.

Not Afraid of Being Adequate

I’m not afraid to be adequate anymore. I find focusing on being an overachiever is too tiring and time-consuming. Good for people who can multi-task like nobody’s business, be a CEO in their twenties, and be the person everyone wants to be,  I don’t have the talent and energy for that. I’d rather just write, Facebook browse, take pictures, eat, and hang out with friends.

Photo Courtesy: CC BY-SA 3.0 NY

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