The Fear of Saying an Ex’s Name

I read Elite Daily’s listicle, 7 Comments About Your Ex Your Current Partner Doesn’t Want to Hear, and I’m guilty for using many of them. Since I have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend, I replaced the Hers with His’s. The first one on the list, Don’t Mistakenly Use Her Name, made me anxious because I’m scared of having a slip of tongue and saying an ex’s name instead of my current partner, Mr. Squigglekins, name.

alien-41617_640 I’ve had slip of tongues before. In fifth grade, I called my teacher Dad instead of Mr. Evans, and felt mortified. Fortunately, none my classmates teased me. Another instance was when I asked my cousin, Obeng, if he saw “Parrots of the Caribbean.” I meant to say pirates but parrots slipped out. He gave me a funny look, and said, “No, but I’ve seen Pirates of the Caribbean.” I burst out laughing because I realized how ridiculous I sounded.

skull-24109_1280 Many slip of tongues are harmless and fun, but mistakenly using an ex’s name instead of your partner’s is emotionally painful. Reading the first comment of Elite Daily’s listicle caused me stress to the point that my stomach hurt and I had trouble sleeping. To add context to the whole situation, I’ve text my Exes hello or sent them angry emails when I shouldn’t have, and that hurt Mr. Squigglekins. I’ve had arguments with him in keeping contact with my exes because I’ve told him that I wouldn’t but I did, and that I feel guilty.

cell-phone-791365_1280 When it comes to my Exes, the decent ones, which are all of them except for one, I don’t have bad blood. I understand that breakups happen because we were better off with different people. It doesn’t mean that individually we’re horrible, but that the relationship ran its course. I texted or posted on their social media and said hello because they were a part of my life at one time, and I hoped they were doing well. I understand from Mr. Squigglekins’s side, that keeping in contact with them is a sign of disrespect to the relationship I have with him, and me breaking that violates the trust between us. Now, after one too many hard lessons, I don’t say hello.

heart-762564_1280  Much of this nervousness of saying an Ex’s name comes from the guilt I have breaking trust with Mr. Squigglekins many times. He’s the best thing I have. He deals with drama that comes from my OCD, my mummy, and the Maxie. Mr. Squigglekins is the only guy I know that will deal with perpetual dog vomit and poop, and still cuddle with me. How many guys can deal with that?

Photo Courtesy: By SV1XV, de:Benutzer:Frank Murmann [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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