The D*ck Showing Contest

I have “d*ck” showing contests with majority of everyone that I know. It’s an unhealthy practice, but it’s a hard to break. You have probably heard of Miss Torts from my previous posts, but she is a former childhood friend of mine who I was always competitive with. Was she in competition with me? Not so sure. In hindsight, I was the main person who was competing, and she was living her life. I did speech competitions, writing competitions, and made anything that was trivial a competition with her. At the end, she almost always won, and then I felt bad. People always say be happy, blah, blah, blah, don’t be a bad sport. I mean I never admitted that I was disappointed that she won, and even if I was honest, that would make her feel horrible and me feeling even worse.

The Dick CompetitionIn high school, Ms. Bodybuilder was granted the editor-in-chief position that I badly wanted. I had the seniority, and she didn’t. I was suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness that prevented me from having the position, and she didn’t. I thought life was unfair. I’d cry to my mother or my close high school friends that I deserved the position, and many of them were emphatic. Looking back though, she did have stronger leadership skills than I did, had no anxiety, and was a better writer. I just didn’t want to look at the reality of things.

The Dick competition with Girls I have mental “d*ck” comparisons to all my exes’ girlfriends. Is she smarter than me? Is she prettier than me? Is she skillful in this position? I used to think this practice would get me over the previous people that I dated, but it never worked that way. It caused me to idealize the girlfriends, without realizing they were flawed as well. They too also likely had inner demons.

Low Self Esteem DicksDo I at times low self esteem? Yes. Am I at times egotistical? Yes. Do I feel inferior to people at times? Yes? Do I sometimes feel superior to others? Yes. Just because someone has something that I don’t have, doesn’t mean I’m inferior to them. There is probably something that I have, that they don’t have. Just because someone is better at a skill, doesn’t mean there aren’t any skills that I’m not good at. There are probably skills that I have, that others would like to have.

All Dicks are wonderfulD*ck showing contests are mentally and physically exhausting. I should know that showing people that I have a bigger, girthier, “d*ck” than they do isn’t going to make myself feel better. I give the longer end of the straw to them, and give myself the shorter end. How in the world am I going to win if I do that? I feel like I’d still end up feeling bad even if I did “win.” So in the end, comparing “d*cks” isn’t a great coping tool.

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