My black, lovely Prius has recently had a tune-up. It has new brakes, new tires, and new batteries. I’m grateful for my parents being able to pay for it, and now I don’t have to worry if my car is going to break down on me when I’m driving. Now I’m scared to drive.
I’m scared to drive because I’m scared someone is going to crash into me, or that I’m going to crash into something and ruin the car. I don’t want my parents to pay and have my insurance increased. I need my car when going to work, going to Mr. Squigglekins, school, and when I go on foodie adventures.
I’m afraid of creating a self-prophecy. That writing down my fears is going to make it come true. I don’t want it to be true! I want it not to happen. How does that work?
I’m terrified of self-prophecies because I don’t know if I’m in the process of creating one. Am I in the process now since I’m writing my fear of crashing the car? Is it healthy for me to write down my fears because that means I can reason with them? I hate going through my fear decreasing process, but I have to or else I’ll be an insomniac for the rest of the night.
The Thought Killing Process:
- Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. If I get into a car crash, my insurance will be able to cover it. My parents will be mad, but they will happy that I’ll be okay. I’ll think about working multiple jobs, while in school so I can help pay them back.
- Make sure my insurance is in the car so that if anything happens, at least I know that I have it.
- Look online for checklists on what do when one is in an accident. By looking at checklists, at least I know what do when it happens.
- Always remind myself to look both ways when at a cross light, stop at every stop sign, pedestrians always have the right of way, clear the road before turning on an unprotected left, don’t be intimidated by honking horns, and that majority of people aren’t looking to get into accidents.
I dislike having obsessions. Hate them! Hate them! Hate them! Driving is one of the worst ones because I always feel that I have to prove my invisible naysayers that I’m a good driver. These invisible naysayers include the critical me, former friends, exes, and my mother. I just want these driving fears to go away! Go away! Go Away! Go Away! I’m a good driver!