A Manic Friendship

A few years back, I was friends with a girl named *Manic. She and I became friends during a difficult period of my life. My friendship with her was bumpy.

I met her through my friend, Miss Redhead, who knew her through a class she took at the local community college. What attracted me to Manic, was her open personality and honesty. It was refreshing to hear someone who was willing to tell you the truth, even if it hurts. As I grew to know her, I realized there was a downside to all of it.

Manic’s mom died when she was sixteen from lung cancer. When she told me, I was surprised how she was able to tell this to someone she first met. It was nice to hear how her mother was this strong Jewish lady who didn’t go to college, had strong business sense, and was feisty. It wasn’t nice to hear every time we hung out. By the time we met, her mom already had been dead for four years. I understand that grief has its own course and I should have been patient, but I wanted to hear other things besides her mom.

Her personality was up and down. There were times when she’d be super happy and want to throw a party at her house. Then there were other times she would be blue and mope about an unrequited love she had for a boy at her work. Every time I hung out with her, I wasn’t sure if she was going be a Positive Pete or a Negative Nancy. On top of that, if she asked me advice on how to be more positive, she would then defend her negativity.

The last straw I had was when she texted me repeatedly to hang out. I didn’t want to go because I didn’t have money at the time, and I was tired of her clingyness. Also, the times I did hang out with her, I felt pissed off. For example, when she and I were at Barnes and Noble, she kept pushing me to forgive my abusive ex, Mr. Schadenfreude. I kept telling her that I wanted him dead more than anything, but she kept on insisting. I was upset because 1.) I wasn’t ready for acceptance and 2) she wasn’t listening to me. I listened to her complain and rant about her problems without suggesting anything (unless she asked), why couldn’t she do the same for me?

So I friend dumped her through text. I know its terribly classy of me.  (sarcasm) I couldn’t stand her negativity, her lack of listening, and her lack of tactfulness. I explained to her through text why I didn’t want to be her friend anymore. She didn’t accept right away that our friendship was over. It took around two years of her sending me love/hate text messages and Facebook messages before she received the hint that I wasn’t going to answer them.

A little before my friendship with her dissolved, she told me she was diagnosed with Bipolar. It made sense looking back at her extreme mood changes. I’m happy she’s diagnosed because at least she’s able to receive therapy and medications for her mental illness.

Do I sometimes think of starting up a friendship with her again? Yes. Perhaps later in the future if the timing is right, it’ll happen.

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