Period, Church, Saving Face, Grudges, and Letting Go

It’s the first day of my period and it started out rough. This morning my boyfriend and I went to church and were told by an old Asian lady that our singing voices were nice but our talking was distracting. I felt humiliated and was thankful that we decided to leave  after communion because of plans to watch the final World Cup game.

On our way to the bar where we were going to watch the game with our friends, I stewed over the correction. My logical side told me that yes that that the old lady was right, but the emotional side  said I should have spoken back to her and said that she should have told us in private not in public. To add to injury, my boyfriend said we should have had our side conversation after we left, not during church. It irritated me because yes, the conversation we had during church was tangential to the lecture the priest said, but why did he tell me after? Why didn’t he tell me to be quiet before? I felt he was blaming me.

My boyfriend felt I was being a spoiled brat because I was silent over how I was feeling. I’m silent because I was trying to figure out my emotions. I have a hard time facing them because they are often on the extreme. I’m either super happy, super sad, super pissed, super something, etc. At this time, I was super pissed and I wanted to answer with as much rationality as possible without biting his ear off.

Eventually, my boyfriend and I made amends before we arrived at the bar.

How does this all relate to mental health? It relates because I have difficulty managing my emotions on my period, I have a hard time responding to criticism, I’m bad at letting go over small things, and I’m good at holding grudges.

Things I learned from today:

1. The old Asian lady’s response was justified. I have to remember its the attack on the action not on my character.

2. Blame doesn’t resolve a problem.

3. Being right is not always a good thing.

4. Criticism is not always there to attack me. It can be there to help me.

5. Needing to remind my boyfriend that I don’t feel my emotions right away, and that he needs to be patient before I can tell him my thoughts.

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